Commentary:
Borrowing cigarettes to save for the zombie apocalypse 🧟♂️🚬💼
11 Funny stealing quotes
I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.
Commentary:
That's one way to protect your home and your wallet! 😂🏠💰
To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.
Commentary:
Looks like I'm not plagiarizing—I'm just conducting highly extensive research! 📚🔍😅
If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.
Commentary:
Ah, so my ever-growing collection of memes makes me a digital Robin Hood! 🏴☠️📚🤣
I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.
Commentary:
"Self-checkout: where speeding through like a grocery store ninja is the name of the game 🛒💨 Who has time for precision when you can live life on the edge and risk setting off the 'unexpected item in the bagging area' alarm for that adrenaline rush? 😂 #LifeIntheFastLane"
As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.
Commentary:
"Smooth criminal! 🕺🏻🍫 Talk about a stealthy snack attack – moonwalking into sweet temptation! 😂 Who needs attention when you've got a stolen brownie to moonwalk away with? 😜"
I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.
Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old strategy of outsmarting hoodlums by only keeping the most undesirable belongings in the garage! 🚗🔒 #Anti-TheftGoals #DeclutteringWithStyle"
Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.
Commentary:
Oh, the modern struggle of juggling passwords and identity theft risk! 🤦♂️ Who knew that a strong password could also double as free identity theft protection and a gentle reminder to sit up straight? 🤣 Stay safe out there, folks! #PasswordProblems #IdentityTheftDeterrent
Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.
Commentary:
Ah, the mysterious Schrodinger's Immigrant – mastering the art of being both industrious and idle all at once! 🤔💼🕰️ Should we applaud their multitasking skills or simply marvel at the quantum leaps in job security dynamics? 🤣👷♂️💼 #SchrodingersImmigrant #JobMarketJokes
I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of the comedian: to be robbed of laughs or deprived of them entirely. 🤔💼 Either way, at least your jokes are making an impact… even if it's in someone else's set! 😂 #ComedyStruggles"