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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

My lips could use some attention today.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Just landed via YouTube:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Spotted on Messenger:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Spotted on Reddit:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Just shared via WeChat:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Trending via WeChat:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Going viral on X:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

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I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.
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Commentary:
"Oh no, it sounds like your gym membership might be hiding in the locker room! 🏋️‍♂️ Don't worry, maybe it's just doing some extra squats and push-ups on its own. 😂💪 It's always worth checking in with those elusive gym gains – they can be quite the sneaky little devils! 🕵️‍♂️ #MysteryOfTheMissingMuscles"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Discord this month:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

58 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

63 shares on Threads this month:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

22 shares on Threads this month:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,430

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Just shared via Instagram:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Seen just now on Discord:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

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