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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Shared recently on Threads:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Trending via Facebook:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Making waves on Slack:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Breaking via Discord:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Witty quote about rearranging furniture to annoy a spouse, playful and humorous in tone.
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Commentary:
"Who needs feng shui when you have a husband to keep on his toes? 💁‍♀️🪑 #MarriagePrankster"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

44 shares on Discord this month:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,702

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Going viral on Messenger:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Trending via Instagram:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Spotted on Twitch:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Trending via Discord:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Just landed via X:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Spotted on WeChat:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Seen just now on Reddit:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

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