Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

359 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,628

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,628

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Tested positive for being single af

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Going viral on Discord:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Going viral on Instagram:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Trending via Pinterest:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Live now on Reddit:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Spotted on Threads:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Just shared via WeChat:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs feng shui when you have a husband to keep on his toes? 💁‍♀️🪑 #MarriagePrankster"

annoy, change, furniture, home, humor, husband, i, people, rearrange, relationship, tell, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

3 months ago

American, Americans, attitude, confidence, humor, just, motivation, put, say, sunglasses, want
I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

2 months ago

capture, effort, family, feel, hours, humor, i, parenting, photographer, photography, smile, spend, teenager, trying, wildlife
We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

2 months ago

bubble, bubble wrap, childish, distraction, fun, humor, mature, playfulness, someone, wrap
Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

2 months ago

driver, frustration, humor, identity, personality, rage, real, real you, road, road rage, slow, slow driver, stuck
I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

2 months ago

avoiding, avoiding people, happiness, happy, happy life, having, humor, introvert, life, people, secret, solitude, think
I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

2 months ago

better, communication, eavesdropping, enunciate, fight, hear, humor, i, little, neighbors, relationship, strife, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Just landed via TikTok:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Seen just now on Discord:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Shared recently on WeChat:

They’re making me do work at work.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨