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I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

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This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

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First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

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I would like even faster food.

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I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

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I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

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According to my kidsโ€™ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

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I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

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If only being annoyed could lower my electric bill! ๐Ÿ”Œ๐Ÿ˜คโšก๏ธ



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