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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

245 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,514

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,514

Jan 7, 2026

3,563

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Seen just now on Messenger:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Broadcasted on Threads:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Spotted on Twitch:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Trending via Telegram:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Live now on Twitch:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

2 months ago

0

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who says you can't have both? 🤷‍♀️💪🍗 Work hard for that hot body, but never say no to some hot wings! Balance is key, right? 😉🔥 #FitnessGoalsVsFoodGoals"

balance, body, craving, diet, fitness, food, hot, hot body, hot wings, humor, i, indulgence, want, wings

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

0

2 months ago

books, buy, drugs, i, myself, tell
Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

0

2 months ago

advice, date, each other, else, humor, relationship, sleep, someone
I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, before, box, feed, footwear, humor, i, joke, just, never, new, over, sh, vegan
Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

0

2 months ago

am, bath, bubble, bubble bath, girls, guess, humor, i, irony, legs, library, media, picture, say, social, social media, take, where
Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

0

2 months ago

asleep, bathroom, fall, fall asleep, hate, having, humor, i, jealousy, me, night, rest, seconds, sleep
I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

0

2 months ago

comedy, hilariou, humor, joke, laugh, own, self-deprecation, witty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

32 shares on Slack this month:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

245 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,514

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,514

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Making waves on WeChat:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Going viral on Telegram:

When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

Spotted on Twitch:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Going viral on Reddit:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Making waves on Telegram:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Breaking via Threads:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Trending via Threads:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

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