Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew the key to a stress-free life was to simply revert back to Kindergarten? No bills, no responsibilities, just pure bliss of naps and snacks. Sign me up for the Kindergarten life ASAP!"

childhood, fun, kindergarten, leisure, life, nap, read, reading, relaxation, simple, simple life, snack, time, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

0

2 months ago

animal, compliment, cute, dinosaur, dinosaur joke, flirt, humor, joke, playful, pun, romance
August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

0

4 months ago

almost, August, Christmas, Christmas shopping, costume, Halloween, Halloween costume, happy, holiday, holiday planning, humor, management, new, new year, next, over, pick, planning, seasonal, seasonal humor, September, shopping, start, time, time management, week, year
The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

0

2 months ago

activity, around, bed, being, best, fun, fun activity, humor, independence, middle, over, relationships, right, single, sleep, sleeping
There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

0

2 months ago

author, believe, blurb, book, great, humor, i, irony, minimalism, new, read, reading, sarcasm, want
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

0

2 months ago

advice, balance, brain, caution, decision, decision making, follow, heart, humor, making, take, wisdom
If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

0

2 months ago

admire, brains, humor, joke, relationship, woman, yourself, zombie

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

33 shares on X this month:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

89 shares on TikTok this month:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

76 shares on Threads this month:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Trending via Pinterest:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Making waves on Facebook:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Trending via Instagram:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Shared recently on X:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨