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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,535

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Spotted on Twitch:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Trending via Discord:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Making waves on YouTube:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Just landed via Instagram:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Just landed via TikTok:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about financial comfort and beef jerky prices, playful and humorous in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, a life goal we can all aspire to – reaching a level of wealth where beef jerky prices don't phase us! 💸🥩 Just imagine casually tossing a pack of jerky in your shopping cart without a second thought… Living the dream! 😄 #BeefJerkyGoals"

aspiration, beef, beef jerky, food, humor, i, jerky, luxury, money, offended, price, rich, want, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

22 shares on Slack this month:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

20 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Shared recently on X:

Staring at your phone is a great way to miss a few years of your life.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Shared recently on X:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Spotted on Telegram:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Making waves on TikTok:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

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