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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

295 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,564

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,564

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Going viral on Instagram:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Spotted on Facebook:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Just landed via YouTube:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Spreading quickly via X:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Breaking via X:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, a life goal we can all aspire to – reaching a level of wealth where beef jerky prices don't phase us! 💸🥩 Just imagine casually tossing a pack of jerky in your shopping cart without a second thought… Living the dream! 😄 #BeefJerkyGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

18 shares on X this month:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

27 shares on X this month:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

60 shares on Threads this month:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

22 shares on X this month:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Livin’ la vida vodka!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

295 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,564

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,564

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Shared recently on Instagram:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Just landed via Twitch:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Just shared via Twitch:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Trending via Instagram:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Making waves on WeChat:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Just landed via Instagram:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

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