Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,720

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Making waves on Reddit:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Seen just now on Discord:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Making waves on Messenger:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Going viral on WeChat:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Making waves on Twitch:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Just shared via WeChat:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Trending via Discord:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the internet is the great equalizer, where even the best of us can't resist going full Kanye mode 🤪📱 #OnlineStruggles"

always, criticism, fun, humor, i, internet, Kanye, losing, media, shit, social, social media, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

0

1 month ago

communication, humor, i, joke, only, speak, squeak, witty, wordplay
Easy there, unsaved number.

0

2 months ago

casual, casual conversation, communication, conversation, easy, humor, number, phone, texting, unsaved, unsaved number
Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, contacts, deserve, hope, i, just, merry, phone, wishing, work
You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

0

2 months ago

communication, compatibility, girl, guy, humor, joke, just, laughter, lol, relationship, work
Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

0

2 months ago

conversation, conversations, dialogue, humor, introspection, longest, reflection, self, sometimes, take, thoughts, time, yourself
They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

0

2 months ago

activity, amusement, experience, flattening, humor, machine, me, penny, zoo

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

61 shares on X this month:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

94 shares on Discord this month:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Trending via TikTok:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Seen just now on Discord:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Live now on Twitch:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Going bananas on Discord:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Easy there, unsaved number.

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨