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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Just shared via TikTok:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Making waves on X:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Trending via Discord:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I missed my calling as a professional couch tester 😂🛋️🧠

health, humor, i, joke, mental, mental health, patient, potential, psychology, self-deprecation, study, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

May the algorithms be with you.

0

4 months ago

algorithm, geek, geek humor, humor, pun, star, Star Wars, technology, wars
Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

0

2 months ago

career, education, fun, give, humor, irony, job, jobs, joke, people, prank, study
Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

0

2 months ago

bath, care, day, dog, dog owner, funny moment, knowing, looking, lovingly, moment, owner, pet, pet care, pet owner, ruin, ruin day
Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad relationship, dating, Facebook, Facebook memory, humor, i, life, love, love life, majority, me, memory, men, regret, relationship, taste, thank
The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

0

2 months ago

ambition, domination, good, humor, me, nap, only, procrastination, sleep, thing, world, world domination
While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, blower, cleaner, cleaning, close, exaggeration, flamethrower, humor, leaf, leaf blower, second, tools, unconventional, unconventional tools

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

22 shares on Threads this month:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Trending via Facebook:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Trending via Telegram:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Making waves on WeChat:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Just landed via Pinterest:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Just shared via Slack:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Making waves on Facebook:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

May the algorithms be with you.

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨