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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

Iโ€™m not like other girls. I donโ€™t have a podcast.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Itโ€™s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

I need a job with a salary thatโ€™ll shock me every month.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, โ€œNah.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Discord:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Going viral on WeChat:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Spotted on Facebook:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Going bananas on X:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Going viral on Discord:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Spotted on Slack:

He thinks Iโ€™m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Trending via Slack:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasnโ€™t even Thursday.

Witty text about mood shift after realizing it's not Friday or Thursday.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Haha, the struggle is real! ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ—“๏ธ Looks like your weekend was just a distant dream! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™ƒ

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

65 shares on YouTube this month:

If Iโ€™m ever found dead in the woods, itโ€™s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you ever see me running, itโ€™s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

18 shares on Telegram this month:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

I think something’s missing in my lifeโ€ฆ Likeโ€ฆ 2-3 million dollars.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

The date didnโ€™t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

We always asked โ€œwhere is Waldoโ€ but never โ€œwho is Waldo hiding fromโ€.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has shared:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as itโ€™s nice out.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldnโ€™t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

Sometimes life is โ€œEat, pray, love,โ€ and sometimes itโ€™s โ€œScroll, snack, overthink.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Iโ€™m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Telegram:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Live now on Snapchat:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Making waves on Instagram:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, โ€œthatโ€™s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.โ€

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Breaking via Facebook:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it โ€œcharacter developmentโ€

Live now on X:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I would like even faster food.

Going viral on X:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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