I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Commentary:
“Ah, the eternal struggle of balancing emotions with the cost of glam! 💸💄 Who needs tears when you have flawless eyeliner, am I right? 😜 #TooFabulousToCry”

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the tragic saga of the cape-clad, wet-haired warrior! A tale of misaligned parts and salon woes unfold beneath the harsh fluorescent lights. The struggle is real, my friends. May your hair find its way and your cape flutter in triumph! 💇‍♀️✨ #HairitageChronicles”

  • Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

    Commentary:
    “Men are truly versatile creatures, mastering the art of multitasking with a single shampoo bottle! 🧔🧴🚗 Who knew cleaning the house and looking dashing could have so much in common? 😄🧼 #ManlyGroomingSkills”

  • Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

    Commentary:
    Boss: You’ll never find another job like this.

    Me: That’d be great! 🤣🙌 Nothing quite like breaking free from the mundane, am I right? Time to spread my wings and find a job where Fridays are celebrated and the coffee doesn’t taste like regret. Good luck to me! 🕺🚀 #NewJobHunt

  • Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

    Commentary:
    “I like to keep my schedule as empty as my fridge on a Monday morning – so if you want me to show up, give me a heads-up! My plan to do nothing is a serious commitment that requires proper notice!”

  • Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

    Commentary:
    “Well, that’s one way to secure the bag, just make sure you don’t get too wrinkled waiting for your inheritance!”

  • Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

    Commentary:
    🦴💀 Well, having a skeleton in your closet takes on a whole new meaning with this quote! Who knew an actual skeleton could end up being the ultimate conversation starter… posthumously. Maybe it can be your unique way of leaving a lasting impression on future archaeologists! 💁‍♂️ #SkeletonInTheCloset #GraveyardHumor