Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,358

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Just shared via Discord:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Just landed via YouTube:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Live now on Threads:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess you're like a boomerang with a "retry" button! 😂📩🚫✨

another, block, chance, communication, email, getting, humor, i, me, sarcasm, second, second chance, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

0

1 month ago

attitude, complaint, hear, humor, i, manic, Monday, want
My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

0

2 months ago

activity, correct, daughter, dinosaur, dinosaurs, fun, fun activity, hobby, humor, me, misidentifying, parenting
You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

0

5 months ago

behavior, communication, die, enough, humor, leaving, life, live, messaging, modern, modern life, people, people pleaser, pleaser, read, read receipt, receipt, social, social behavior, start, text, texts
The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

0

2 months ago

advice, biology, chase, dating, egg, girl, humor, man, never, relationship, relationship advice, sperm, swim
I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

0

2 months ago

daily, daily life, date, day, frustration, hate, humor, i, impossibility, impossible, kids, life, me, parenting, questions
Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

0

4 months ago

babe, communication, concern, humor, message, messages, okay, partner, relationship, telepathic, telepathic message, texting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

14 shares on X this month:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

36 shares on Discord this month:

A selfie only a mother could like.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Just landed via YouTube:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Spotted on Reddit:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Just landed via Reddit:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨