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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Breaking via TikTok:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Trending via WeChat:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Just shared via Threads:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Going viral on Instagram:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Going viral on TikTok:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess you're like a boomerang with a "retry" button! 😂📩🚫✨

another, block, chance, communication, email, getting, humor, i, me, sarcasm, second, second chance, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

0

2 months ago

day, every, exercise, fitness, humor, joke, leg, leg day, squatter, workout
11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

0

2 months ago

am, anything, attitude, daily, daily routine, humor, motivation, possibility, procrastination, routine, time, today
I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

0

2 months ago

buddy, i, insomnia, sleep, tonight, wanted
Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

0

2 months ago

activity, always, friendship, fun, fun activity, gathering, hot, hot tub, kind, kindness, know, never, own, social, social gathering, surprise, tub
Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

0

5 months ago

chalk, chalk outline, crime, crime scene, here, humor, joke, lay, laziness, outline, resting, sarcasm, scene, someone, waiting
Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

0

2 months ago

always, anywhere, bin, chores, confusion, even, everyday, everyday life, full, going, hell, humor, irony, laundry, life, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

35 shares on Threads this month:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

66 shares on Facebook this month:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Going viral on YouTube:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Making waves on Facebook:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Making waves on Instagram:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Freshly posted on Threads:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Just landed via YouTube:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Just shared via Threads:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨