Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,270

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,270

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Making waves on Threads:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Live now on Reddit:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Going viral on Instagram:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Live now on Slack:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Spotted on Twitch:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Just shared via Slack:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Better get in tune and march to the beat of my accordion emoji! 🎶 Time to shape up or face the music! 🎭 #AccordionEmojiDrama

accordingly, accordion, act, acting, better, communication, emoji, expectation, humor, i, means, start, text

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

0

2 months ago

ambition, career, humor, i, job, money, paycheck, thought, work
Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, baby, disorder, frustration, hate, health, humor, irony, line, me, mental, mental disorder, problems, stay, stomach
If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

0

2 months ago

concern, humor, i, ID, me, meeting, personality, reflection, self, someone
Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, colonel, feel, group, group psychosis, humor, language, linguistics, pronunciation, psychosis, word
This meeting could have been a cake.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, cake, efficiency, humor, meeting, time, workplace
I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

0

2 months ago

bow, etiquette, hands, handshake, humor, kneel, not shaking, shaking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

50 shares on WeChat this month:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Just shared via Facebook:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Just landed via Instagram:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Making waves on TikTok:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Just landed via Twitch:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Making waves on Telegram:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

This meeting could have been a cake.

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨