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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

882 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,044

Funny Quotes Topics

13,983

Funny Quotes Images

11,044

3 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Seen just now on Threads:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Reported on X:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Just landed via Facebook:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Spotted on Reddit:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Just shared via X:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Live now on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

6 months ago

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

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Commentary:
Ah, the simple joys of multi-nostril breathing, a skill reserved for the carefree days of youth! 🌬️😄 Perhaps it's a sign that adulting is getting a bit too stuffy? Just imagine the possibilities if we could still pull off that nostril multitasking feat today! 🤔😂 #NostalgicNostrils

age, breath, breathing, health, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, nostril, once, time, where, youth

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

882 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,044

Funny Quotes Topics

13,983

Funny Quotes Images

11,044

3 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Shared recently on Instagram:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Breaking via Instagram:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Reported on Messenger:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Making waves on Telegram:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

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