Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,583

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Just landed via X:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Making waves on Messenger:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Breaking via Discord:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the last minute is the real MVP of my schedule! 😂⏰✨

anything, deadline, humor, ID, last, last minute, minute, motivation, never, procrastination, productivity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

2 months ago
animals, apartment, date, fly, fruit, fruit fly, humor, pest, relationship, turn, turn off
The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

1 month ago
attractiveness, breakup, dating, downside, fun, hot, hot men, humor, joke, men, only, relationship, still
I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

1 month ago
always, care, cliché, enjoy, entertainment, happening, humor, i, mystery, small, small town, something, story, suspense, town
The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

5 months ago
dating, enough, finding, hard, health, humor, illness, life, mental, mental health, mental illness, mentally, relationship, ruin, someone, understand, understanding
Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

2 months ago
anyone, brush, care, else, humor, hygiene, just, little, me, multitasking, personal, personal care, routine, shower, teeth, toothbrush
Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

5 months ago
anytime, body, body image, chin, comment, comments, humor, i, ignore, image, joke, keep, self-confidence, someone, try, weight

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Just landed via Instagram:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Making waves on TikTok:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Going viral on YouTube:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Trending via Telegram:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏