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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,856

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Just landed via YouTube:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Making waves on YouTube:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Going bananas on Slack:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Live now on TikTok:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Just shared via WeChat:

A Monday every week is excessive.

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Hey, love isn't complicated; it's just on layaway! 🛒❤️😂"

activity, cart, dating, fun, fun activity, pending, relationship, single, talk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

1 month ago
communication, cultural, cultural reference, digital, digital expression, emoji, emoji expression, express, expression, grief, humor, humorous, humorous quote, irish, Irish grief, Irish humor, misfortune, online, online communication, people, reference, shamrock, shamrock emoji, should
How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

1 month ago
container, craving, cream, dessert, eating, food, ice, ice cream, still, stop, temptation
Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

3 months ago
abduct, abduction, alien, aliens, dressed, extraterrestrial, feels, humor, joke, me, pretty, readiness, ready, rude, sarcasm, still, waiting
I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

1 month ago
dark, dark humor, eaten, ending, expectation, fairy tale, fairytale, fantasy, humor, i, irony, plan, still, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking, wolf
Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

2 weeks ago
humor, insignificant, insignificant other, oh, relationship, sarcasm
Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

2 months ago
creativity, dance, fun, humor, interpretive, interpretive dance, meltdown, performance, self-expression, spice

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Trending via Reddit:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Just landed via Reddit:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

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Activity Log ✨

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

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If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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