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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Spotted on Reddit:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Broadcasted on X:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Going viral on Facebook:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Making waves on Discord:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Trending via Telegram:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

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If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.
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Commentary:
When someone tells you to make yourself at home but you're not in the mood for visitors 🛑🏠😂 #IntrovertProblems #SorryNotSorry

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on X this month:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

48 shares on X this month:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

82 shares on Slack this month:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Going viral on YouTube:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Seen just now on X:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Seen just now on Messenger:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Spotted on Discord:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Spotted on Twitch:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Trending via YouTube:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

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