Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”
  • If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.
  • If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.
  • How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.
  • When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.
  • My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.