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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • January feels like a schizophrenic episode.
  • Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.
  • Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.
  • Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.
  • I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.
  • It’s strange being the same age as old people.