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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Going bananas on Discord:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Going viral on Telegram:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Going viral on Slack:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"😂 Sorry, grumpy pants, I only accept compliments and cookies! 🍪☀️"

attitude, cheerful, confidence, dumping, full, ground, grumpiness, humor, mood, playful, pocket, positivity, sarcasm, self-esteem, sunshine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, aging, club, hardware, hardware store, humor, i, lifestyle, preference, social, social activity, store, where
Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

0

2 months ago

age, birthday, grow, growth, health, healthy, humor, older, people, researcher
Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, childhood, distraction, entertainment, fun, fun activity, hobby, i, leisure, less, phone, screen, screen time, something, spend, time, trying, TV, watching
I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

0

2 months ago

confused, confusion, election, humor, i, mistake, realtor, sign, signs, think, voted, yard, yard sign
Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

0

2 months ago

bed, breakfast, current, humor, laziness, lying, manifest, morning, relaxing, situation, trying
Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

0

2 months ago

35, age, age 35, best, borrow, borrow womb, friend, friendship, gay, gay best friend, girl, girls, humor, love, relationship, womb

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Instagram this month:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

35 shares on Facebook this month:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

93 shares on X this month:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Seen just now on Slack:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Just shared via Discord:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Going viral on Instagram:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Just shared via Twitch:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Making waves on Messenger:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨