Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Breaking via Discord:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Just landed via TikTok:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Making art is making love to the world.

Just shared via Slack:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, a plot twist I can get behind! 📚😅 #SelfImprovement

character, character development, development, focus, glad, growth, humor, i, life, makers, personal, personal growth, scene, sex, sex scene, unnecessary

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

0

3 weeks ago

figure, figure skating, humor, i, ice, ice rink, joke, medalist, niche, niche sport, Olympic, Olympic medalist, rink, skating, sometimes, sport, sport joke, walk
If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

0

2 months ago

assurance, context, death, die, ever, fishy, going, hill, humor, i, rest, something
It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

0

2 months ago

argument, camel, convince, difficulty, eye, humor, irony, needle, online, opinion, pass, somebody, wrong
I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

0

2 months ago

grammar, humor, i, irony, language, linguistics, live, moose, plural, want, where, wordplay, world
Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, forget, fun, fun activity, hangover, humor, Netflix, tequila, wake, wake up, where
This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

0

5 months ago

blend, chaos, experience, fun, having, humor, life, life experience, losing, losing mind, me, mind, perfect, perfect blend, time, time of life, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

71 shares on X this month:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

Making waves on TikTok:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Trending via WhatsApp:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I put the mess in domestic.

Seen just now on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Trending via Threads:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨