Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Going bananas on Slack:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Making waves on Telegram:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Freshly posted on Slack:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Witty text blending biblical curses with humorous insults, playful and amusing in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Watch out, I'll be throwing some Old Testament shade your way! 😂🌾🔥 May your WiFi forever be spotty and your phone always on 1% battery! #BiblicalBurns"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Pyjamas straight off a hot radiator is a winner. Damn, I’m old.

Trending via Instagram:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Going viral on Threads:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Going viral on YouTube:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Spotted on TikTok:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Just landed via X:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Going viral on X:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Seen just now on Twitch:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Live now on X:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴