I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.