Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.
  • When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.
  • My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.
  • If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.
  • Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.
  • Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?