Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,720

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Trending via Reddit:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Just landed via Reddit:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Spotted on YouTube:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Spotted on Instagram:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
When life turns into a remix and my patience hits skip 😂🔊🙉

apology, communication, distraction, frustration, humor, i, misunderstanding, multitasking, noise, noises, said, same, sorry, things, time, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

0

2 months ago

accounts, changing, humor, irony, me, password, passwords, security, self sabotage
Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

0

2 months ago

boredom, first job, humor, job, lack, lack of task, normal, nothing, office, office work, task, work, working, workplace, workplace humor
$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, financial, humor, joke, k, money, sarcasm, silent, wealth
Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad idea, beach, dog, funny situation, humor, idea, pet, shark, situation
When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

0

5 months ago

aspiration, grow, humor, i, ID, lottery, lottery winner, retirement, winner, wish
Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

0

3 months ago

cool, future, humor, later, memory, moment, nostalgia, photo, photos, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Discord this month:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

63 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

94 shares on Slack this month:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Shared recently on TikTok:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Going viral on Reddit:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Just shared via Reddit:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Seen just now on X:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Going viral on TikTok:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Going bananas on YouTube:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Going viral on TikTok:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨