Iā€™m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Iā€™m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Commentary:
“Oops, my bad! Note to self: biting is not an approved flirting technique. 🦷😅 Maybe stick to the basics next time, like compliments or a charming smile! 😉”

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Trending Funny Quotes šŸ‘‡

  • A 12 step program but itā€™s just me getting off the couch.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the ultimate challenge – the ‘Get Off the Couch‘ program. Step 1: Look at the couch longingly. Step 2: Contemplate the possibility of standing up. Step 3: Take a deep breath and consider the benefits of movement. Stay tuned for Step 12: Actually getting up… maybe.”

  • I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

    Commentary:
    🤣 “I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do. Ah, the classic approach of ‘button-mashing optimism’ – Maybe one day we’ll uncover the mystery behind those magical buttons! 🔮💡”

  • It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: ā€œBuilt in Antennaā€. I donā€™t even know where that is.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the mystery of the built-in antenna! 🤔📺 It seems like nowadays even our electronics are trying to confuse us with their origins. Who knew Antenna was the new tech hub making all our TVs? 😅 Next thing you know, our toasters will be labeled “Made in Pop-Upville”! 🍞🏗️ #GlobalVillageMysteries

  • Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ā€˜compliments to the chefā€™.

    Commentary:
    Looks like we have a new executive chef in the office! 🍴👨‍🍳 Don’t forget to savor the unique aroma of success…or maybe just open a window. 😂 #ChefOfTheYear

  • “Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

    Commentary:
    “🎶 Turn down for what? 🤷‍♂️ Apparently, for the sake of this poor guy’s eardrums! 🙉 Maybe it’s time to give his ears a break and crank down the volume a bit. 🎧😄”

  • Iā€™m so lazy that Iā€™ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

    Commentary:
    “Talk about dedication to laziness! Who needs scissors when you have teeth, right? 😂🦷 #LazyLife”