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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Trending via Reddit:

The peace of not knowing.

Going viral on WeChat:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Seen just now on Discord:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Spotted on Reddit:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Trending via Threads:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Going viral on Facebook:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Just landed via Twitch:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs sense when you've got charm and pizzazz? 🤪✨ Let's make confusion fashionable, darling! 🍸💃"

back, cut, cut back, humor, i, irony, much, self-awareness, sense, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

0

2 months ago

Android, iPhone, loyalty, person, stubborn, switch, technology
I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

0

5 months ago

communication, cooperation, flirt, humor, i, please, relationship
People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

0

2 months ago

attention, close, humor, Netflix, observation, people, series, sery, think, watching
Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

0

2 months ago

back, business, business jargon, circling, communication, hell, humor, jargon, meeting, monitoring, office, phrase, situation, touching, wait, workplace
Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

0

2 months ago

actually, awkward, basic, humor, most, photo, photography, photos, posing, self-confidence, self-image, selfie, talent, terrible, thing
Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

0

2 months ago

cards, crush, dating, day, humor, love, me, romance, shave, still, time, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Discord this month:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

48 shares on Slack this month:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

20 shares on Discord this month:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

96 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Just landed via Snapchat:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Spotted on Discord:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Making waves on Slack:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Trending via Telegram:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Just shared via Discord:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Just shared via Instagram:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨