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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Just shared via Reddit:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Just shared via WeChat:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Going bananas on X:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Going viral on Telegram:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Shared recently on X:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Clever and humorous text about 90s rap battles and survival.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the good ol' 90s rap battles: where survival was the ultimate flex! 💥💀 Let's just say, winning those battles was a real 'life or death' situation back then! 😂🎤 #RapBattleRoyale"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

41 shares on X this month:

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you tried complaining about it?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,761

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Breaking via Facebook:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Just shared via Twitch:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Live now on TikTok:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Seen just now on Slack:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Trending via Discord:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Going bananas on X:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Going viral on X:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Just landed via X:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

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