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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

The peace of not knowing.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Making waves on Messenger:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Seen just now on Slack:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Seen just now on Slack:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Spotted on Pinterest:

All human behavior is performative, besides the crying of an infant.

Going viral on Instagram:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Playful quote about feeling busy inside despite doing nothing.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of looking like a chilled cucumber on the outside, but inside your brain is a raging storm of to-do lists, ideas, and existential musings. Who knew appearing zen could be such hard work?"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,500

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

It was all revealed to me in a delusion.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Trending via Slack:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Just landed via YouTube:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Spotted on Messenger:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Trending via Snapchat:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Making waves on Messenger:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

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