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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Jan 7, 2026

3,246

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Broadcasted on X:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Broadcasted on X:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Trending via TikTok:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Trending via TikTok:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Just shared via TikTok:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Seen just now on X:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Just shared via X:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

2 months ago

0

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of decision-making at its finest! 🤔 But hey, who needs thinking anyway when you can just wing it, right? 🤷‍♂️ Embrace the carefree spirit and let spontaneity be your new best friend! 🎉 #LivingLifeOnTheEdge"

avoid, comedy, decision, doing, humor, i, lot, procrastination, self-reflection, thinking, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

0

2 months ago

activity, alcohol, beer, book, drafts, drinking, fun, fun activity, humor, humor about alcohol, lot, through, writing
We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

0

3 months ago

adulting, chat, creative, employment, group, group chat, humor, insurance, know, needs, someone, underemployed
Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

0

4 months ago

humor, needs, pause, press, relaxation, someone, time, weekend
People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

0

4 months ago

afraid, behavior, emotion, fear, kind, kindness, people, people pleaser, personality, pleaser, social, social behavior
When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

0

2 months ago

animals, biblical, humor, i, Noah, perspective, realize, wisdom, world
Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

0

1 week ago

boo, celery, food, getting, hot, hot wing, humor, jealousy, plate, relationship, treated, wing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Discord this month:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

63 shares on Threads this month:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

16 shares on X this month:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

19 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Just landed via Reddit:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Making waves on YouTube:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Just shared via Slack:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Spotted on Messenger:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Live now on X:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Broadcasted on Discord:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

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