I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I don't even know what I'm doing today.

Commentary:
“Tomorrow? Oh, you mean that mythical land where I have my life together? 🤷‍♂️ Who needs plans when you can just wing it and hope for the best, am I right? 😅 #LivingInTheMoment”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the Summer Olympics: where sweaty perseverance meets the ultimate sports bra showdown! 💦🏋️‍♀️ Dive into the pool of determination, and may the champion of undergarment wrestling emerge victorious! 💪👙”

  • “Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

    Commentary:
    “Being the bigger person shouldn’t mean you have to swallow disrespect like a bitter pill 🙅‍♂️ Stand tall and don’t let anyone shrink your worth, unless you’re getting paid to act in a movie about honeybees 🐝🎥”

  • Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

    Commentary:
    Well, who says you can’t conquer an empire in style? 👠🛡️ Those Roman soldiers sure knew how to make a statement on the battlefield! Fashion-forward warriors, bringing a whole new meaning to the term “fighting in style.” 💃💪 Just imagine their enemies’ reactions when they showed up in those short, yet tasteful leather skirts! 🤣 #FashionablyFierce #RomanChic

  • The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

    Commentary:
    Well, talk about a gnocchi-up! 🍝 It seems like their dinner plans were doomed from the start – who knew a little potato pasta could stir up such drama? 🥔💥 Looks like they’ll have to agree to gnocchi-tiate before planning their next meal together! 😄 #FoodieFails #PastaProblems

  • I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

    Commentary:
    “Age is just a number, but compliments are forever! 🎉 Embrace the aging process, just make sure to add some extra years for those sweet, sweet ‘you look amazing’ comments! 😉👵 #ForeverYoung”

  • I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew taking the high road could lead to the high sugar levels? 🍦🍰 Next time, it’s okay to be the ‘sweet’ person instead! 😉 #SugarRush #LifeLessons”