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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Going bananas on X:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Breaking via X:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Making waves on Reddit:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"At this rate, my next diploma should be in 'Life Lesson Mastery 101'! 🎓🤣📚"

experience, humor, i, irony, learned, learning, lesson, sarcasm, teacher, teaching, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

0

2 months ago

compliment, example, flex, friend, friends, friendship, good, humor, mom, social, social status, status
I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, eats, every, fitness, goal, grapefruit, half, happiness, happy, health, humor, i, irony, kind, lifestyle, morning, motivation, person, runs, self-improvement, want
Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

0

2 months ago

again, airport, arrival, being, early, early arrival, flight, frustration, hours, humor, i, management, minutes, once, only, scam, security, take, time, time management, travel
I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

0

2 months ago

deer, drinking, funny incident, humor, i, incident, nose, officer, red, shiny, shiny nose, situation, unexpected, unexpected situation, wildlife
My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

0

2 months ago

entertainment, humor, Netflix, original, pay, self-awareness, therapist, therapy, watch
Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

0

2 months ago

addiction, drink, event, gathering, humor, i, intervention, me, place, reasons, self-awareness, social, social event

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

20 shares on Slack this month:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

99 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Spotted on Twitch:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Live now on YouTube:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Freshly posted on X:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Shared recently on X:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Seen just now on Discord:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Just shared via Messenger:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨