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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,888

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Shared recently on WeChat:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Trending via WeChat:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Spotted on Facebook:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Just shared via Discord:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Just shared via X:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"At this rate, my next diploma should be in 'Life Lesson Mastery 101'! 🎓🤣📚"

experience, humor, i, irony, learned, learning, lesson, sarcasm, teacher, teaching, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

2 months ago
anyone, dating, fall, fall in love, humor, living, living together, love, me, relationship, rent, roommate, together, want
Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

2 months ago
always, breath, cat, cats, clean, cleaning, detergent, fish, happiness, laundry, laundry detergent, little, smell, vanilla
Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

1 month ago
analogy, call, creativity, frankenstein, humor, me, monster, patchwork, piecing, piecing together, together
My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

2 months ago
am, ceiling, daily, daily struggle, debating, humor, i, live, living, minutes, morning, morning routine, need, procrastination, routine, staring, struggle, thinking, tired, today
Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

1 month ago
ask, asked, backfire, boss, communication, drunk, humor, i, should, wait, workplace, workplace humor
If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

2 months ago
apps, convenience, dead, delivery, food, humor, i, invention, lifestyle, never, rich

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Trending via Snapchat:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Going viral on Discord:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

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Activity Log ✨

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

69 but we both just farting.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

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I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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