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Commentary:
"January 1st: Feeling motivated to conquer the world! 🌟 January 2nd: *hits snooze button* Maybe world domination can wait until tomorrow… 😂 #NewYearStruggles"

anything, expectations, humor, January, motivation, new, new year, optimism, possibility, procrastination, reality, today, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

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2 months ago

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My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

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2 months ago

care, dish, exaggeration, family, humor, i, parenting, put, sink, son, urgent, urgent care
“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

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2 months ago

age, body, humor, knee, popping, self-talk, standing, youth
You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

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2 months ago

age, certain, fitness, health, humor, life, life realization, realization, realize, self-care, stretching
Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

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3 weeks ago

constant, ear, ears, hack, humor, insomnia, life, life hack, need, noise, ringing, sleep, sound, tinnitus, white, white noise
I want this laziness removed from my body.

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4 months ago

body, desire, humor, i, laziness, motivation, procrastination, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on X this month:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

68 shares on X this month:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

76 shares on Threads this month:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Making waves on TikTok:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Making waves on X:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Seen just now on Facebook:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Trending via Facebook:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨