Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Remember, kids have the power to choose your retirement location 🏠👵👴 Best to butter them up with kindness and love now while you still have a chance! 😄 #FutureRoommateSelectors"

children, future, good, home, humor, just, kindness, parenting, sign, wisdom, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

0

2 months ago

bee, bumble, buzz, humor, poetry, red, rhyme, rose, roses, roses are red, twist, wait, wordplay, yes
I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

0

2 months ago

attention, attraction, humor, people, personality
When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

0

2 months ago

age, exactly, feel, getting, getting older, humor, i, irony, just, kick, life, older, wisdom
They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, call, drug, earlier, feeling, having, humor, number, should, unexpected
“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

0

4 weeks ago

Abdul, cracking, daughter, giving, humor, identity, male, male name, name, nickname, nobody, parenting
If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

0

2 months ago

dog, humor, i, me, order, pet, photos, relationship, restraining, restraining order, sleeping

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Threads this month:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

38 shares on Instagram this month:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Just landed via Discord:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Going viral on Threads:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Breaking via Threads:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Trending via Snapchat:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Just landed via Messenger:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨