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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Making waves on Facebook:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Spotted on Slack:

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

Making waves on Messenger:

I would like even faster food.

Trending via Messenger:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Spotted on Threads:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

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Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the great Lou Read – serenading your ears with music and amusing your mind during bathroom breaks 🎶📚 Who knew he could be such a multi-talented artist, providing both tunes and toilet reads! 🚽📖 #MusicalInspirations #MultiTaskingMaster"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

51 shares on Slack this month:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

93 shares on Telegram this month:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,320

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Going viral on Slack:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Going viral on Instagram:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Seen just now on Discord:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Just shared via Twitch:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Freshly posted on Threads:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Trending via WeChat:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

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