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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Making waves on Slack:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Freshly posted on Discord:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Live now on Discord:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Going viral on Telegram:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Trending via X:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

2 months ago

0

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the great Lou Read – serenading your ears with music and amusing your mind during bathroom breaks 🎶📚 Who knew he could be such a multi-talented artist, providing both tunes and toilet reads! 🚽📖 #MusicalInspirations #MultiTaskingMaster"

book, favorite, humor, i, keep, lou, Lou Reed, musician, name, read, reading, reed, toilet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time.

0

17 hours ago

detox, digital, digital detox, drink, health, humor, hydration, limit, me, please, reminder, screen, screen time, self-care, someone, technology, time, water
I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

0

2 months ago

buy, cooking, cookware, handles, hot, hotter, humor, i, irony, kitchen, kitchen humor, pot
Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

0

2 months ago

aliens, am, coming, door, Earth, everyday, frustration, going, humor, i, irony, misunderstanding, moon, people, pull, pushing, still, struggle
Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

0

2 months ago

creativity, day, humor, naming, nextday, otherday, someday, thatday, thisday, time, today, week, yesterday
Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

0

2 months ago

again, chore, done, dryer, forget, forgetfulness, household, household chore, humor, i, just, laundry, pop, procrastination, waiting
Muting morons is good for your health.

0

2 months ago

good, health, humor, moron, muting, positivity, self-care, wellness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

94 shares on Slack this month:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Freshly posted on X:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Going viral on Discord:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Making waves on WeChat:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

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