Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Trending via Telegram:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Making waves on Twitch:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Going viral on Messenger:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Spotted on Messenger:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Trending via WeChat:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Breaking via Discord:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When he starts drawing diagrams for your 'what if the sun exploded tomorrow' question, you know you've found the one! 🚀🪐💕😄"

communication, dumb, humor, humor in love, love, man, marriage, marry, partner, patience, problems, questions, relationships, supportive, supportive partner, understanding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

0

5 months ago

cooking, hatred, here, humor, imagination, imagine, indifference, just, looking, me, over, recipe, soup, soup recipe
Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

0

2 months ago

afford, affordability, dream, dream house, estate, every, house, humor, irony, perspective, real, real estate, wishes
I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

0

4 months ago

care, cleavage, complaint, distraction, football, guys, hate, humor, i, jealousy, time, time of year, wants, year
I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

0

2 months ago

fall, history, humor, i, irony, question, reflection, Rome, stupid, wonder
Twitter is an abusement park.

0

2 months ago

abusement, amusement, fun, humor, irony, media, park, social, social media, Twitter
Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

0

2 months ago

alive, dead, hamster, hear, humor, observation, people, talking, think, thinking, turning, wheel, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Discord this month:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

79 shares on X this month:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Just shared via Telegram:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Trending via Snapchat:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Making waves on TikTok:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Making waves on Threads:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Just shared via Slack:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Twitter is an abusement park.

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨