Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Just shared via Twitch:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Going bananas on TikTok:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Shared recently on YouTube:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Seen just now on X:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Just landed via Telegram:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Spotted on Twitch:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Spotted on Reddit:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Me to cat: Your laser-eyed stare won't turn me into a gourmet dish! 🐱👀🍳 #NotAnIngredient

cat, expression, food, humor, ingredient, looking, me, pet, quit, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not my room, not my elephant.

3 months ago

elephant, humor, indifference, responsibility, room
Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

2 months ago

anger, annoyance, different, frustration, home, humor, own, parking, parking space, someone, space, taking, type
My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

2 months ago

after, bathroom, bathroom mirror, girl, hangover, help, humor, mirror, morning, morning after, party, party weekend, self-care, vitamins, weekend
“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

2 months ago

awareness, humor, irony, life, ruining, sarcasm, self-aware, thanks
Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

2 months ago

anything, birthday, celebration, expectations, gift, government, humor, irony, knows, me, never
If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

2 months ago

age, back, comedy, foolishness, humor, idiot, maturity, realize, reflection, self, self-awareness, self-deprecating, still, younger

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

74 shares on Discord this month:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

91 shares on Slack this month:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Live now on Pinterest:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Just landed via YouTube:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Just landed via Threads:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Spotted on TikTok:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Not my room, not my elephant.

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨