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Commentary:
Looks like the ultimate shortcut to the past and future: just hit snooze! 💤🕰️ Who needs a DeLorean when your bed is your time machine? 🚀🛌 Sleep your way through history—dreams are the new quantum leaps! 😴✨

bed, bedtime, going, humor, joke, micro-dosing, microdosing, relaxation, sci-fi, sleep, time, time travel, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

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2 months ago

anything, doing, hate, humor, lose, losing, motivation, procrastination, things
We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

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2 months ago

age, age joke, aging, avoiding, avoiding young people, comedy, humor, joke, just, people, sarcasm, young, younger, youth
How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

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2 months ago

casual, commitment, conversation, dating, end, humor, love, marriage, proposal, relationship, someone, tell
On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

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2 months ago

bikini, body, body image, cake, choice, dilemma, hand, humor, ID, image, indulgence, love, sexy
The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

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2 months ago

follow, humor, irony, media, online, online safety, place, safety, social, social media, strangers, technology, web, wrong
Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

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2 months ago

accessory, bold, bold style, boost, confidence, confidence boost, empowerment, example, fashion, feel, humor, i, know, me, personality, quirky, self-confidence, sexier, style, sword, times

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Twitch this month:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

93 shares on Messenger this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

42 shares on X this month:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

36 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

98 shares on Slack this month:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Spotted on Messenger:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Live now on Pinterest:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Spotted on Threads:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Shared recently on Discord:

My life is based on a true story.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Trending via Reddit:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Breaking via Telegram:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨