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"Who needs vitamins and healthy living, when you have a healthy dose of spite and biscuits to keep you going strong until 90! 🍪😂 Granny's secret recipe for longevity! #SpiteAndBiscuits"

90, 90 years, advice, age, biscuit, grandmother, humor, life, life advice, live, longevity, nothing, shining, spite, year’s

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54 shares on X this month:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

46 shares on X this month:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

35 shares on X this month:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

65 shares on Threads this month:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

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Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

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Going bananas on Telegram:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Live now on Pinterest:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Just landed via TikTok:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Making waves on Discord:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Spotted on Instagram:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Shared recently on TikTok:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Seen just now on Threads:

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

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My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

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My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

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