Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.
  • Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.
  • Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.
  • I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.
  • I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.
  • The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.