Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, it sounds like you're the true CEO (Coolness Enhancing Officer) at your workplace! 💰😎 Keep shining bright like a diamond… or should I say, like a paycheck! 💎💸 #CoolCatBoss

company, cool, humor, me, only, salary, self, things

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41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

85 shares on Slack this month:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

21 shares on Threads this month:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

22 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Intelligence is now free, and the golden age of the nerd is over.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Going bananas on Discord:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Seen just now on Discord:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Trending via Twitch:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Trending via TikTok:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Going bananas on Discord:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

They’re making me get out of bed.

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

They’re making me get out of bed.

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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