Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.
  • Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.
  • I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
  • One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.
  • Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.
  • Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.