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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has copied:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has shared:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has copied:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has copied:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like β€œI wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has bookmarked:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has viewed:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has downloaded:

I hate when teachers put β€œ?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,564

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Live now on X:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Going bananas on Messenger:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Making waves on WeChat:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Just landed via Instagram:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Just shared via Threads:

I like how people say β€œtravel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.
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Commentary:
Looks like karma has an impeccable sense of humor and a flair for irony! 🀣 It seems your mini-me is embodying all your best (and perhaps some not-so-great) qualities. Just wait until they start mimicking your questionable dance moves and obscure movie references! πŸ•ΊπŸ“½οΈ Get ready for a front-row seat to the ultimate cosmic comedy show starring you and your little doppelgΓ€nger! πŸŒŸπŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§β€

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Facebook this month:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that countsβ€”and technically, I thought of it twice.

98 shares on Slack this month:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

LibertΓ©. EgalitΓ©. Second CoffeΓ©.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

84 shares on Discord this month:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has shared:

When they ask β€œhow was your weekend?” answer β€œbetter than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has copied:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has shared:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has copied:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has downloaded:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has shared:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Facebook:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Trending via Instagram:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Shared recently on X:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Just shared via Reddit:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Going bananas on YouTube:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Trending via Discord:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

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