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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Making waves on Pinterest:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Live now on Pinterest:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Spotted on WeChat:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Seen just now on X:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

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My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like karma has an impeccable sense of humor and a flair for irony! 🤣 It seems your mini-me is embodying all your best (and perhaps some not-so-great) qualities. Just wait until they start mimicking your questionable dance moves and obscure movie references! 🕺📽️ Get ready for a front-row seat to the ultimate cosmic comedy show starring you and your little doppelgänger! 🌟👩‍👧‍

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

27 shares on Discord this month:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

72 shares on X this month:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Talking to the stars because people suck.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Making waves on Messenger:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Spotted on Discord:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Spotted on Facebook:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Making waves on YouTube:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

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