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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

52 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Reported on Telegram:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Going viral on Discord:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Seen just now on Threads:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Spotted on Instagram:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Shared recently on Slack:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Just landed via YouTube:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

6 months ago

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like karma has an impeccable sense of humor and a flair for irony! 🤣 It seems your mini-me is embodying all your best (and perhaps some not-so-great) qualities. Just wait until they start mimicking your questionable dance moves and obscure movie references! 🕺📽️ Get ready for a front-row seat to the ultimate cosmic comedy show starring you and your little doppelgänger! 🌟👩‍👧‍

humor, just, karma, kid, lesson, life, life lesson, me, parenting, played, resemblance, well, well played

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

52 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Freshly posted on Discord:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Going viral on Facebook:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Trending via TikTok:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Shared recently on Slack:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

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