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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Iโ€™m not crazy, Iโ€™m just mentally spicy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,231

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Discord:

The goose: Canadaโ€™s most violent saxophone.

Going viral on YouTube:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Spotted on Facebook:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Going bananas on X:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The thing about sleep is that Iโ€™d like to get some of it.

Just landed via Discord:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Trending via YouTube:

People thinking youโ€™re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

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My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.
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Commentary:
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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Social Media Stars โญ

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you canโ€™t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Iโ€™m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say โ€œsureโ€ without arguing, check that they havenโ€™t been replaced with an android.

58 shares on X this month:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Time machine? You mean a clock?

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I donโ€™t need.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

What if your dog one day just randomly said โ€œNobody is going to believe youโ€ and never spoke again.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™m sorry I said โ€œI look forward to working with youโ€ during our wedding vows.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Iโ€™ve got nothing against kids, I just donโ€™t understand why youโ€™d want indoor kids.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

People ask you, โ€œare you crazyโ€, and then get scared when you answer, โ€œyesโ€.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต has viewed:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the โ€˜why canโ€™t we print more moneyโ€™ conversation.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has downloaded:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Breaking via TikTok:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Trending via Telegram:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Turns out I am the autistic one at โ€œmovie night,โ€ who thought youโ€™re supposed to actually watch the movie.

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