Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Spotted on YouTube:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Making waves on X:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Making waves on Discord:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Just landed via Slack:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Spotted on X:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Just landed via Facebook:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Just shared via Snapchat:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
My pillow and I are in couples therapy! 😂😴🛏️

communication, conflict, humor, i, insomnia, relationship, schedule, sleep, sleep schedule, speaking, terms, tiredness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

0

2 months ago

car, commentary, culture, give, humor, i, inside, listen, media, modern, modern culture, refuse, satire, social, social media, society, state, TikTok, trends, video
A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

0

2 months ago

blanket, comfort, compression, enough, humor, i, need, relaxation, relief, stress, stress relief, today, weighted, weighted blanket, zip-file
Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

0

2 months ago

accent, English, English accent, ghost, ghost story, humor, scary, sound, story
WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

0

2 months ago

argument, call, communication, connectivity, frustration, humor, internet, poor, relationship, technology, WhatsApp
I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

0

2 months ago

business, business savvy, childhood, fairy, humor, i, job, outsourcing, parents, savvy, tooth, Tooth Fairy
What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

0

2 months ago

choice, decision, dispatch, event, feeling, FOMO, going, going out, hear, humor, knowing, once, opposite, regret, right, social, social event, somewhere

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Going viral on Discord:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Breaking via YouTube:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Breaking via WeChat:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Just shared via WeChat:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Trending via Pinterest:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Spotted on WeChat:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨