28 funny speaking quotes - Wordgag

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

May 30, 2026

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

May 30, 2026

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

May 30, 2026

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

May 30, 2026

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

May 29, 2026

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

May 28, 2026

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

May 28, 2026

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

May 28, 2026

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

May 28, 2026

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

May 28, 2026

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

May 28, 2026

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

May 28, 2026

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

May 27, 2026

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

May 26, 2026

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

May 25, 2026

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

May 24, 2026

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

May 24, 2026

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

May 23, 2026

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

May 23, 2026

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

May 23, 2026

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

May 22, 2026

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

May 22, 2026

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

May 21, 2026

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

May 20, 2026

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

May 19, 2026

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

May 19, 2026

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

May 19, 2026

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

May 19, 2026