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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Making waves on Reddit:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Making waves on Twitch:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Just landed via Twitch:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Just shared via Messenger:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

3 weeks ago

Witty text highlighting the funny struggle of venting privately without revealing secrets.

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Commentary:
Ranting incognito: the ultimate stealth mode 🙈🕵️‍♂️💬

anyone, business, combo, communication, crazy, dilemma, emotion, frustration, humor, know, privacy, rant, secret, wanting

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Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Leaving my apartment for two weeks, but leaving a single cup in the sink as a gesture to continuity upon my return.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Just landed via Discord:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Freshly posted on Discord:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Just shared via Discord:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Breaking via Telegram:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Spotted on Facebook:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Just landed via Instagram:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Trending via Threads:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Making waves on Reddit:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨