Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the wise philosophy of every kid ever: 'If it's gonna get wrecked, let *me* wreck it first!' 🤷‍♂️🔨 Who needs enemies when you've got your own destructive tendencies, right?"

childhood, destroy, ever, every, humor, i, individuality, kid, let, self-destruction, someone, stuff, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

3 days ago

art, artist, early, early work, humor, i, joke, me, painting, past, Rothko, saying, walk, work
Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

6 days ago

actually, arrogance, donkey, high, high horse, horse, horses, humility, humor, humor quote, sarcasm, satire
Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

2 weeks ago

adventure, bike, care, childhood, E.T., Elliott, ET, flying, flying bike, fun, just, movie, movie reference, reference, wanted
At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

3 weeks ago

confidence, heir, humor, interview, job, job interview, me, think, throne
I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

5 days ago

balance, frustration, humor, leisure, little, short, short weekend, sick, time, weekend, work life, work-life balance
I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

2 weeks ago

coping, crazy, divorce, emotions, fine, hard, humor, i, joy, recovery, time

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Slack this month:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

87 shares on Messenger this month:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

66 shares on Threads this month:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

46 shares on Discord this month:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Spotted on Discord:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Live now on Twitch:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Spotted on WeChat:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Just landed via YouTube:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨