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Commentary:
"Looks like socializing has officially been canceled! 🚫🤷‍♂️ If you made the cut pre-lockdown, consider yourself lucky! 😂🎉 Who needs new friends anyway, right? 🤪🙅‍♀️"

again, another, congrats, humor, i, introvert, know, meeting, never, person, social

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

0

2 months ago

best, capitalism, done, food, humor, little, noodles, observation, pasta, perspective, put, thing, window, world
It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

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2 months ago

absurdity, age, born, certificate, crazy, i, identity, just, me, need, proof, prove
Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

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2 months ago

Freud, humor, mom, psychology, seriously, sexy
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

0

2 months ago

experience, fun, good, humor, love, meaningless, pretty, relationships, sex
With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

0

2 months ago

belief, believe, body, body image, fake, fake information, humor, i, image, information, mirrors, refuse, scales, self-perception
Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

0

2 months ago

activity, bad, bed, break, breaking, Breaking Bad, couple, date, fun, fun activity, humor, idea, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

12 shares on X this month:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Shared recently on Discord:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Just shared via Snapchat:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Just landed via Slack:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Live now on Reddit:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Just landed via TikTok:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨