Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.
  • My rock bottom keeps refreshing.
  • Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.
  • I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.
  • Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?
  • One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.