Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Procrastination level: expert! 😅 Why do today what you can definitely, maybe do at some point in the future, right? 🤷‍♂️ Just add it to the never-ending to-do list! 😂 #ProcrastinationGoals

day, delay, humor, irony, just, motivation, procrastination, productivity, put, tomorrow, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

0

2 months ago

age, body, humor, knee, popping, self-talk, standing, youth
Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

0

2 months ago

beat, better, competition, humor, irony, punch, someone, wordplay
Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

0

2 months ago

British, British food, culture, food, grateful, gratitude, gross, humor, independence, joke, taste
I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

0

2 months ago

budgeting, days, done, finance, get by, humor, i, management, math, money, month, time, time management
Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

0

1 month ago

ask, conversation, forget, humor, joke, journey, long story, narrative, saying, short, short story, start, story, storytelling, take, unexpected
Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

0

3 months ago

adulthood, age, believe, childhood, expectation, humor, i, kid, life, realization, reflection, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Telegram this month:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

72 shares on Slack this month:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

74 shares on Threads this month:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Trending via Slack:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Trending via Snapchat:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨