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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Breaking via Slack:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Trending via Threads:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Trending via Discord:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the chef's got the looks and the skills, who needs words? 🍳😏🔥

arguing, argument, charm, compliment, confidence, cook, cooking, flirtation, fun, handsome, humor, man, masculinity, relationship, say, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

0

2 months ago

aggressive, drive, humor, i, ID, less, morning, relief, stress, stress relief, tank, transportation, work
Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

0

2 months ago

activity, care, lounging, outdoor, outdoor activity, relaxation, self, self-care, star, stars, therapy, under
You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

0

4 weeks ago

adult, anger, angry, catch, change, changes, frustration, getting, grocery, grocery store, layout, maturity, store, truly, yourself
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

0

2 months ago

acting, acting weird, circumstances, day, due, humor, humorist, i, quirky, today, unexpected, unforeseen, unforeseen circumstances, weird
Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, daily, daily life, expectations, humor, hungover, just, life, reality, Tuesday, welcome
The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

0

2 months ago

appointment, best, doctor, fill, forms, frustration, healthcare, hello, humor, irony, online, say, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

60 shares on Discord this month:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Going viral on Threads:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨